Ten Things To Do Before Getting Hitched

1. Set the date
2. Select the venue
3. Get the outfits
4. Scout for a wedding cake baker
5. Scout for a florist
6. Invite guests
7. Buy the rings
8. Mentally, emotinally and spiritually prepare
9. Sort out legal paperwork
10. Put a ban on Hens and Stag nights!


Haha..no, I'm kidding. I had a BLAST at my well-planned, well-coordinated, wacky, embarassing, laugh-till-you-cry Hens night last Saturday.

Weeks ago, I was told to keep 6th September free for a girls' get-together. There was no hint of what was going to happen, until some of the girls I met during the week seemed too excited about the Hens night. That got me a little more suspicious. I knew Hens nights are supposed to be wacky and crazy, but it wasn't a tradition with Metro ladies and hardly one in Asia...so with little exposure to it, they couldn't possibly do much, right?

I tried to dig for bit or information but the organisers were very tight-lipped. My only hint of what could possibly take place was from the most unlikely source, little 5 year old Hannah Tan who innocently said you me "Hey Auntie Janice, you're gonna wear wings and run around the field, right?", when I asked her if she was excited about my wedding. Okay, mentally prepare, the girls might go a little crazy. Run around a field in Melawati with wings?...I can do that.

On the afternoon the event, Leng Si and Szu Li picked me up. They said, "I'm sorry, but we have to do this to you" and made me wear a blindfold. Hah!, I thought, I'm drive in KL, I can imagine my way around KL with the blindfold on. Leng Si and Szu Li tried very hard to keep me distracted from where we were going, but there are only so many highways near Melawati. It wasn't hard to figure out that we were going to somewhere near Damansara Perdana.



Still blindfolded, and with people starring at us (I wasn't so bothered, since I couldn't see them), they took me up to Red Box at The Curve, where the rest of the gang were waiting. They had been there for some time and were obviously loosened up for a time of girly fun.



We sang (not very well), ate, drank (non-alcoholic) and had cupcakes. As the hours passed, I began to believe that this was it for the Hens night. Okay, not bad, very mild. Besides, there was a minor in our midst. It can't possibly get too wild.

Then came out the "gifts", among which were a tiara with matching earrings, a "Bride To Be On Her Day Out" sash and a giant lollipop ring. Uh-oh! They couldn' have possibly gone through the trouble of getting me these things and then ending the night.



Yup, I had to parade out (this time without blindfolds) around The Street, while my entourage of purple-hued ladies came up with tasks for me to accomplish.

#1: Get something for free from a flea market stall owner
It seemed like an uphill task, especially when I approached a toy stall owned by a lady. Someone quickly prompted me to approach a stall with a guy. Without having to say much, he gave me a small hand-made card.

#2: Get someone to buy me a drink
It was 6:30pm during puasa month. The bar had only bar tenders and waiters! But Ram, one of the supervisors at Laundry Bar, was kind enough to entertain this bride-to-be with a free drink. The bartenders were even more cheeky and prompted me to approach their Manager Max for free drinks for all my ladies. Shy Max bashfully denied us the drinks and a picture because he too was engaged (must be to a protective fiancee!).



#3: Sing a song in front of Cineleisure
The ladies pretended to be my audience while I sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (I couldn't think of any other song!). After all the karaoke-ing, it was a bit of a strain.



#4: Get a caucasian man to give me RM10 for a peck on his cheek
Now, this took a while to accomplish simply because it was hard to find a suitable candidate. If I was gonna do this, it couldn't just be some old fart at a bar. With the help of the girls, we managed to locate a guy who seemed sporting enough.

Jan: Hello, I'm having my bridal shower today

Guy: Yes...I can see that.

Jan: Would you give me RM10 if I gave you a peck on the cheek?

Guy: Shouldn't you be giving me RM10 for that?

One of my ladies: She's the one giving you the kiss wor!

Guy: Okay. But do you have change for RM50? (In retrospect, I should have said I'd give him a peck on the other cheek for the RM50. Haha)

Guy's friend: I've got RM10!

Guy offers cheek, *peck*, I get RM10. Done.


#5: Get a guy to buy me a condom without telling him what it is (ala the game Taboo)

Jan: Hi! I need your help. I'm looking for something, which I need you to help me pick out.

Guy: Okay...

Jan: It's something I'll need on my wedding night.

Guy: Uh-huh

Jan: You know...it's something the guy would wear, not me.

Guy: Uh-huh

Jan: ...so I won't get pregnant.

My ladies: Doh! Should have told her can't use the word "pregnant" too!

Guy: Okay...

We follow the guy around Watson's. I thought those stuff are sold at the counter, but he was walking further into the shop and brought us to the exact spot.

My ladies: Wah, you know your way around the shop ah.

Guy: Which type do you want? *whips out his wallet*

Jan: You choose lah. From your experience...

*Guy picks one*.

Jan: Okay, thanks! Thanks for being such a sport!

Guy: You're welcome and congratulations!

Mission accomplished.



#6: Take a ride on an "exotic animal"
These things are quite common in shopping malls these days to occupy children. The girls bought me five minutes on an animal (we couldn't figure out what it was). I rode it around the concourse (Imagine parents whose children wanted to ride on one of those things frowning at me), down the ramp, up the ramp to the delight of the ladies who were tearing by this time and the lady who sold us the ride. She was crouching over in laughter.



By then we were pretty hungry and adjourned to The Apartment for some chomp. There was quite a bit to recount from the day's activities, and I REALLY thought. Okay, I did it. This must be it. The worst was over.

But "what is a Hens night without a little bit of alcohol and some intimate Q&As?" so the girls must have thought. And so, a Graveyard was ordered up. In came interrogation. I think I handled that pretty well because for whichever question I didn't want to answer, I had to take a sip of the potent drink. Halfway down the glass (almost foot-long) and I was feeling its effects. Water water water. I was still okay.

Suddenly, in comes Edwin (Mei Lin's husband and one of Ernest's good buddies), "Janice! Ernest needs your help!".

"Hey! What are you guys doing here?!"

Uh-oh. Why does Ernest need my help?

I looked around and there they were, the guys all in a row, cheering and snapping away with their cameras. I couldn't see Ernest...he was hidden behind the wall. Uh-oh...what did they do to him?

I rush down the steps to find Ernest in a fitted white singlet, red-faced, holding up a sign "I need 50 signatures and 50 high-fives to prove my love to my future wife"!!!.

The guy's night out is another story, but all in all, I had a blast, and so did the girls.



Thank you ladies, for such a memorable send off to marriage-bliss!

More fantastic photos by ChinChunHoo, our professional photographer here.

Disclaimer: Little Hannah Tan and mum Julie left after Task #2 and was not exposed to the pranks with more adult connotations.